The Book of Boba Fett Sucks. I Liked It.

I’ll be discussing some plot points from The Book of Boba Fett. I don’t call them spoilers because, trust me, the plot doesn’t matter at all. 

First, I should note that I have three criteria for Star Wars and three criteria only. I demand flying vehicles, space wizards, and pew-pew lasers. Give me that, and I’ll like any Star Wars property; it’s a good thing, too, because they put out some trash. In fact, I’m willing to say that most Star Wars is kind of bad. I don’t know if they hire the wrong people or if they’re just not trying very hard, but most of it is mediocre at best.

The Book of Boba Fett is a fitting addition to this tradition. 

TBoBF follows a largely irrelevant bounty hunter from the Original Trilogy who gets accidentally bumped into a giant death rectum in the desert. In the show, he emerges from the doom sphincter, hangs out with some Sand People, does something involving a drug syndicate (?), and then he shoots everybody in the drug cartel. The show is seven episodes long. If this doesn’t sound like enough of a plot to cover seven hours, that’s because it’s not. At some point in filming, Disney clearly realized Boba Fett is a man without charisma. So, they just abandon Boba Fett for two episodes, the two best episodes. 

Boba does some mildly interesting desert stuff in episodes one through four. He grumbles at some people and shoots some people with the pew-pew lasers and is generally just grumpy. In episode five, the show focuses exclusively on Din Djarin, the main character from The Mandalorian. He’s a thinner and slightly less grumpy Mandalorian; he’s proof of the redemptive love of a little Yoda thing. 

Episode six focuses on Luke Skywalker traversing the uncanny valley. Then, finally, we go back to Tatooine for the season finale. 

Boba and his gang of greasers shoot a bunch of people, Boba rides a rancor, Grogu toddles, a bunch of stuff explodes, and then I guess it was over. If this sounds like a negative review, that’s because it is. The show is dull, uninteresting, uncreative, and unnecessary. Nobody worth mentioning has ever wondered about the life and times of Boba Fett. However, let’s examine it on the measurables. 

Are there pew-pew lasers? Lawd have mercy, there are so many lasers.

Are there space wizards? There are three. Too much Luuke Skywalker, not enough Ahsoka, and an unnecessary amount of puppet Grogu. 

Are there flying vehicles? Yep. There’s a Naboo starfighter, which raises some interesting questions about when the Naboo went to Tatooine. There are also flying Vespas which were deeply silly, but Star Wars is frequently pervasively foolish. 

So, on balance, The Book of Boba Fett does everything a Star Wars property is supposed to do. If you’re not much of a sci-fi fan or a Star Wars fan, you should probably sit this one out. That is, unless you’re a huge fan of grumpy old guys in the sand. If you are, you’re a weirdo, but you’re going to love this show. If you’re an uncritical fan of all things in the galaxy far, far away, then I guess you could look at TBoBF; Disney will never try any harder than it currently does, and it’s all our fault.