Human beings are dumb. They always have been and, I suspect, always will be. That means people have been committing acts of dumbassery for hundreds of thousands of years. So, here are the few of the dumbest things that have ever happened between June 20th and June 27th for the last 3000 years or so.
June 20, 1948 – Soviets blockade Berlin.
Despite the “blockade,” an Allied plane flew into Berlin every 30 seconds. The US and its allies flew into Berlin over 250,000 times. This “blockade” essentially started the Cold War. What did the West Germans do to inspire Soviet aggression? They created their own currency. The horror! In response, the West learns that the Soviets are short-tempered, petty, and defeatable.
June 21, 1898 – Americans annex Guam.
During the Spanish-American war, American ships approached the Spanish-held island of Guam. The Americans fired warning shots as they approached. However, the Spanish ships didn’t realize they were supposed to be at war with the US and thought the gunshots were salutes. Americans captured the island without bloodshed.
June 22, 1986 – The Hand of God Scores a Goal.
Watch it for yourself. Argentinian Diego Maradona used his hand to score a goal against England in the 1986 World Cup and then said it went in due to the “hand of God.” No, Diego, that was just you.
June 23, 1972 – Richard Nixon Does Crimes.
Richard Nixon was recorded discussing ordering the CIA to obstruct the FBI investigation into the Watergate break-in. Oh my God, who secretly taped the President of the United States? He did. He taped himself. He taped himself and knew the tape was running and still did crimes on tape. Lots of people are harmless dumbasses, but it’s a real problem when the president is a dumbass.
June 24, 1374 – Germans Dance Themselves to Death.
A St. John’s Dance outbreak strikes Aachen, Germany (pictured above). The infected dance for hours, days, even weeks, without stopping. They experience hallucinations, collapse, heart attacks, heat exhaustion, and even death. This is neither the first nor the last time Europeans dance themselves to death in an outbreak of mass suicidal dance. Incidences occurred all over Europe from the 7th to the 17th centuries. Death by dance, y’all. Death. By. Dance.
Dumb people do dumb stuff every day. These are just five profiles in dumbassery from this week in history. Go forth and be smarter than these people.