Ned Stark is a Democrat but the North is a Red State


The United States Constitution does not include a right to vote. It’s nowhere in there. That’s because the Founding Fathers never really intended for the rabble to do much voting. The only guarantee is that anyone eligible to vote for the “most numerous” branch of his/her state legislature would also be eligible to vote for the United States House of Representatives. Until 1913, state legislatures chose US senators, not the voters. Nowhere is this anti-democracy more profound than in the electoral college. As designed, each state chooses its own method for picking electors. Those electors go to the state capitol and vote on how to allocate their state’s electoral votes. This is how you get a “Red State” or a “Blue State.” In theory, Alabama could appoint whichever coach won the Iron Bowl that year and let him go pick the president. (Alabama badly wants to do this.)

Each state is allotted electors in number equal to their number of congressional representatives plus their senators. Seven members of the House of Representatives and two senators? You get nine Electoral College votes. And so on.

There are 436 electoral college votes distributed across 51 elections (DC gets 3 electors). Then every state (and DC) gets two each. So, 538 in total. 270 electoral votes are required to be elected president. 

That leads us to the obvious and unavoidable question: if 538 Electoral College votes were distributed across the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, who would be elected president? We’ve all wondered it. Since the Seven Kingdoms have nine administrative divisions, each one gets 11 senators, which will get us close to 538 total. To make it to 538, the North gets 12 because the Electoral College is dumb anyway. 

The Blue and Red States of Westeros 

George RR Martin is not always very specific about the population of the Seven Kingdoms: however, scholars of medieval Europe estimate a kingdom could field an army consisting of between .5 and 2% of its population. If we assume a Westerosi army consists of 1% of a kingdom’s population, we can estimate there are about 40 million people in Westeros at the end of A Game of Thrones and the beginning of the War of the Five Kings (Stannis, Renly, Joffrey, Robb Stark, and Balon Greyjoy). 

1.5 million for the Crownlands. 

5 million for the North. 

4 million for the Riverlands. 

5 million for the Vale of Arryn. 

5.5 million for the Westerlands. 

1.5 million for the Iron Islands. 

2.5 million for the Stormlands.

3 million for Dorne 

12 million for the Reach. 

The Crownlands = 27 electoral college votes for Biden/Harris

Proximity to the King makes the Crownlands a state full of lobbyists, defense contractors, courtiers, and other hangers-on. They’re highly-educated, dependent on the crown for employment, and very wealthy. In effect, this is the area around Washington DC and Northern Virginia. It’s bright blue, but it’s not terribly populous. 

As 3.75% of the population, they get 16+11 Electoral College votes. 

The North = 66 Electoral College votes for Trump/Pence

The North is as far as one can get from the king both culturally and geographically. They essentially consider themselves to be a different country. They’re incredibly religious and hyper-violent. They’re rural, impoverished, and still manage to look down on everyone else. 

The North of Westeros is the South of the United States. They’re always threatening to secede, and they’ve got all the coolest stuff. (ATVS, a giant ice wall, direwolves, biscuits and gravy, etc.)

As 12.5% of the Westerosi population, they get 55 + 11 Electoral College votes. 

The Riverlands = 55 Electoral College votes for Biden/Harris

The Riverlands, run by House Tully, are wealthy and populous. They speak fluently the rebellious language of the Northmen but they also blend in pretty well with the wealthier and more acculturated citizens of the southron kingdoms. 

The Riverlands are the Upper South (Virginia, Kentucky, North Carolina, Maryland, etc.) They might have voted with the Northmen in the past, but they’ve got a pretty good thing going these days. 

As 10% of the Westerosi population, they get 44 + 11 Electoral College votes. 

When you play the game of thrones you vote or you die.

The Vale of Arryn = 66 Electoral College votes for Trump/Pence

The Vale is somewhat isolated by mountains from the rest of Westeros. They can field an army the size of the North. They’re some of the best warriors in Westeros. They’re just as independent in spirit as the North but they don’t threaten to secede every time they don’t get their way. 

The Vale is the West. Parts of the West are solidly blue and other parts are trending that way, but it’s still a rural stronghold for the party of Ser Donnie. 

As 12.5% of the Westerosi population, they get 55 + 11 Electoral College votes. 

The Westerlands = 72 Electoral College votes for Biden/Harris.

The Westerlands aren’t the largest realm in the Seven Kingdoms but they are the wealthiest. They have gold and silver mines, hordes of natural resources, and fertile farmland. Their absurd amount of wealth has made them arrogant ,and the rest of the kingdom kind of resents the fact that they need them. If they had to, the West could finance the entire kingdom for a few months (and they have before). 

The Westerlands is the Pacific Coast. They produced villains like Tywin Lannister and Richard Nixon, but they’ve also given us Tyrion Lannister and Kamala Harris. 

As 14% of the Westerosi population, they get 61+11 Electoral College votes. 

The Iron Islands = 27 Electoral College votes for Biden/Harris

It’s cold and miserable. They’re a lot like the Northmen but have an independent streak of their own. The land is inhospitable, and they take pride in that. They produced some of the greatest cars ever made, but deindustrialization has hit them hard. They voted Trump/Pence in 2016, but they’re coming home in 2020. 

As 3.75% of the population, they get 16+11 Electoral College votes

The Stormlands = 38 Electoral College votes for Trump/Pence

There are no cities, the farmland is pretty good, and it storms constantly. Appalachia is a beautiful and terrible place to live. 

The stormlands are the kind of place that produces Robert Baratheon and Robert Byrd. 

As 6.25% of the population, they get 27+11 Electoral College votes. 

Dorne = 44 Electoral College votes for Biden/Harris

They’re ethnically distinct from the majority of Westeros. They live in the sun-baked expanse that used to be a foreign country. They were some of the last ones to join Westeros, and they’ve always kind of felt like they could up and leave if they needed. 

You could probably get by just fine in Dorne speaking only Spanish. It used to be a Republican stronghold but they’ve alienated too many Dornishmen. They’ll never support a big, beautiful wall to keep the rest of the Rhoynar out. Dorne for Biden. 

As 7.5% of the population, they get 33+11 Electoral College votes

The Reach = 142 Electoral College votes for Biden/Harris

The Reach is the most populated kingdom of Westeros. The people are beautiful, the weather is lovely, and they’ve got more money than they know what to do with. 

There’s no real US equivalent to the Reach but wealthy, populated areas of the United States tend to be vote blue. They’ve also got some of the most prominent cities in Westeros, including the college of maesters. We all know colleges turn gods-fearing Westerosi kids into godsless liberals. The Reach for Biden. 

As 30% of the population, they get 131+11 Electoral College votes. 

Call The Race

With 100% of the in-person and raven-in ballots counted, Joe Biden is president-elect of The Seven Kingdoms. 

Final Result:

Biden/Harris: 367

Trump/Pence: 171