If Fantasy Writers Were NBA Players, Who Would They Be?


The Fantasy GOATs

JRR Tolkien :: Wilt Chamberlain

He’s got a compelling case for being the Greatest Of All Time. You’re either imitating him or responding to him. Nobody will ever be able to play the game at such a high level; it’s simply no longer possible. 

Karen Miller :: Kobe Bryant

Miller/Kobe have all of the tools of the GOATs. There’s a level of innate talent there, but you can tell most of it is earned and not God-given. Miller/Kobe spent thousands of hours in the gym. Miller can get you a bucket from just about anywhere on the fantasy genre. 

Robert Jordan :: Michael Jordan

He’s got everything it takes to take the crown from the previous GOAT. He played at the top of the game when the field was most crowded. There’s an entire stable of superstars who are ringless because he wouldn’t relinquish the crown. 

Brandon Sanderson :: LeBron James

He’s still working at a high level, so you might not want to call him the GOAT. However, you know he’s the one you would trust to close out a legendary series. 

The First Ballot Fantasy Hall-Of-Famers

JK Rowling :: Kevin Durant

JK/KD forever changed the game and maybe not for the better. JK/KD remains super popular despite near-constant dumbassery on Twitter. 

Stephen King :: Vince Carter

He put up some crazy impressive highlights in his early years. You never thought he’d challenge for GOAT status, but he was always exciting. Now, his longevity might be his most distinguishing feature. 

Dan Simmons :: Tim Duncan

He’s kind of lame, but his fundamentals are solid. He’s found a shot that works, and he’s going to hit it with textbook efficiency. 

George RR Martin :: Shaquille O’Neal

He’s a lot like Wilt/Tolkien, another big man. However, he’s bigger, louder, and more brash. He’s so innovative and dominant with brute power that he could have been in GOAT territory, but you just can’t keep him focused on the game. Ohh, what coulda been.

Wilt the Stilt, a legend on the screen as well as the court.

The Fantasy Legends

CS Lewis :: Bill Russell

He’s a legend and will always be. He was dominant early on but was overshadowed by greater talents. 

Gene Roddenberry :: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

He’s like a futuristic Tolkien/Wilt. Before him, the game was one way. After him, everything changed. He redesigned the entire landscape, and now we’re all just playing in his world.

Robert Howard :: Chuck Taylor

He was on top of the game so long ago that you’d probably forgotten he existed. He made a lasting contribution to the game, though. Importantly, Converse All-Stars and Conan the Barbarian remain cool as shit.