10 Worst Billboard Top 100 Songs from the Year 2000
Have you ever heard a random song from your younger years and instantly recognized it for how terrible it is? I’m talking about the songs that were always on the radio and blasting in all the stores and events you went to, practically forcing themselves into the soundtrack of an entire year of your life. This is a top ten list of the worst songs from the Billboard Top 100 that are irritatingly etched into my brain, perhaps because they were popular during a formative time in my life, the year 2000. I apologize in advance if any of these tunes burrow into your ear like…a thing that burrows into ears, but I refuse to suffer alone. And if you’re a fan of any of these, yes, I’m totally judging you. On a final note; the title image for this article ranks up there with grossest we’ve ever published. Just look at that chin strap.
10 Worst Billboard Top 100 Songs from the Year 2000
10) 3 Doors Down – Kryptonite
We’re just gonna go ahead and get this one out of the way, because I think it might be the one most people would object to. My comic book nerd sensibilities thought this was fun, but once the novelty wears off, all you’re left with is a perfect encapsulation of why early 2000s alt-rock sucked so bad.
9) BBMak – Back Here
There’s nothing memorable about this cookie-cutter boy band, but I sure recognized this song once the chorus hit. This sounds like a song my older sister would’ve included on one of her mix CDs. I imagine it was sandwiched between Simple Plan and 98 Degrees. This one only comes in at number nine because my colleague Caleb was adamant that BBMak should only belong on a “Best of” list.
8) Madonna – Music
In my research for this article, I realized that this song and the whole album was received surprisingly well at the time. But, I’m sorry, this does nothing for me. Reviewers used words like “electro-funk” and “folktronica”. It’s all just fluff to dress up a completely uninspiring tune. Madonna is better than this.
7) Toby Keith – How Do You Like Me Now?!
This one is a choice more about my personal taste than anything, because I’m not actually sure if this song is objectively bad, but I’m definitely not a fan. Toby has a smooth voice for the genre, I’ll give him that, but this kind of pop country all sounds the same to me. Merle, Hank, Johnny, Lorretta, country music used to be a land of giants. Now we get Toby.
6) Savage Garden – I Knew I loved You
Yes, take me back to those embarrassing Middle School dances. We were all there just to hang out and dare our friends to ask their crushes to awkwardly sway back and forth at arms length. A Casanova, I was not, but my fellow writer Christian will be happy to tell you about the time he danced with three girls in one night. A true legend.
5) Alice Deejay – Better Off Alone
If you were old enough to remember the year 2000, you don’t have to be familiar with Alice Deejay at all to recognize this beat. It was global phenomena. It probably belongs on a list of the most sampled songs of all time. I only include it in this list because of how annoyingly contagious it is.
4) LFO – Girl On TV
Here’s another boy band that was 100% on my sister’s mix CD. LFO had a bop or two back in the day, but this certainly wasn’t one of them. One of the lines references Scooby Snacks and there’s some scat singing, so do with that what you will. Interesting fact: LFO actually stands for “Lyte Funkie Ones”. Cool.
3) Lonestar – Amazed
Another staple from the Middle School dance days. I don’t really get it, were adults bopping to this on their way to work or was this song specifically written so I could awkwardly avoid eye contact and hold my composure while thinking second base meant touching a girl’s waist?
2) Smash Mouth – Then the Morning Comes
I feel like I have a very specific memory of hearing this song at a roller rink. Are those still a thing? I remember the delicate balancing act of trying to look cool on roller skates while also being aware of how lame the whole thing was. Either way it’s always weird to hear a Smash Mouth song from this era that’s not the one from “Shrek”. Chinstrap. Cringe.
1) Eiffel 65 – Blue
Good God this song was inescapable in 2000. The music video is shocking in how bad it is. This is peak stupidity for pop music in a time when no one had any worries so the bar for something becoming popular was practically non-existent.